Biting is Learning!

Biting is one of the traits that teachers and parents dread the most.  Many times, parents of the children being bitten are horrified that this happened to their child.  However, biting at this age is not mean and evil.  Toddlers just do not have the language skills to express how they feel, so they bite to show their frustration, excitement, to let us know they are anxious, bored, or need attention. Toddlers, also, learn by putting things in their mouths; sometimes it is to get comfort or maybe just to relieve pressure from teething.  This is their way to learn how the world works (Stark, 2017). 

When biting occurs, give comfort and attention to the victim; do not reinforce the behavior of the biter by giving him the attention (Stark, 2017).  Stay calm! Clean and doctor the wound; it is okay for the biter to help take care of his victim, but do not force it.  Give words to the victim, "Bobby bit you and it hurts.  It's okay, you are safe.  Tell Bobby biting hurts."  Then, remove the biter to a quiet place and talk.  Give the biter words like “I know you wanted the toy, but Abby has it now.  You must wait until it is your turn.  We cannot bite our friends; it hurts."  Talk with the parents, so they can begin talking to "Bobby" about how biting hurts.  

 If the biting continues, shadow the biter.  The adult must observe the times biting occurs and try to distinguish the reasons (hungry, angry, tired, retaliation, etc.).  Is the biter focusing on only one child or several children?  Is there is a pattern (such as hunger, tiredness, change in schedule or home life, boredom, or just cannot get those words out)?  Think ahead!  If the child is biting at specific times, distract, redirect, and change the situation (give a snack, new activity, give undivided attention at that time); but always, always give words to express what the child is doing.  The children need to understand that is okay to be mad or to be tired, but it is never okay to bite, because it hurts.  

Remember, the child is learning how the world works.  Even at toddler age, we can teach there are consequences to choices they make (this will make life easier for you when they get older).  Whether we shadow the biter and catch it before the bite happens or we talk and read about biting, we should never use physical punishment to teach.  We have to consider the choices we make about discipline and what those consequences would be.  If you feel that a child is getting overly stimulated, tired, or stressed, a teether or wet rag or something to chew on, even a hard cookie (animal cracker) will go a long way to reduce the stress, tension, hunger, and possibly even frustration to ward off the reaction of biting.  Whatever you choose, make sure you give positive guidance when handling the children and the incident.  Make sure you talk to your children about biting (they are learning to understand even if they cannot talk back). Make sure you are consistent in whatever method you choose.  And always make sure you stay calm and breathe through it!  Catch your breath and think before you react – they are watching us and we are teaching them in everything we do!  Remember talk to parents, parents talk to teachers, everyone talk to the children.  It takes more than one person to raise a child!

           What are some instances and ways you have handled biting?  Is your biter a continuous biter? or a once in a while biter?  Has the biter ever helped the victim?  Have you been on the victim side of biting?  What was your reaction?  After reading this would your reaction have been the same?  Give us some comments so we can learn together.

Stay calm, breathe, and Toddler on!

Stark, M. (2017). Parents. Teaching Your Child Not to Bite. Retrieved from http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/discipline/improper-behavior/teaching-child-not-to-bite/